


Of Two Thinds

by elfsternberg



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Bad Puns, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12241467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfsternberg/pseuds/elfsternberg
Summary: The Doctor explains to Bernice an unfortunate evolutionary step among an alien species.





	Of Two Thinds

Beni followed the Doctor through the colorful market, jostling with the bulky, six-legged, two-trunked inhabitants of Thind. The Thind had a white, scaled hide, but they painted themselves in a riot of colors that Beni found a bit hard on the eyes. Humanoids were rare on Thind but not completely unknown, and while the multi-hued Thind regarded them with curiousity, none interefered as the Doctor led Beni along the brick road into the city.

"What is that smell?" Beni asked as they passed by a stall loaded with pots and pans. A Thind in a swirling blanket of reds and yellows waved one about in one trunk, extolling its virtues to an assembled crowd.

"I hope it's not unpleasant," said the Doctor.

"Not at all," Beni replied. "A bit floral."

"Well, then you probably won't be too put out when I tell you it is intestinal gas."

"Oh." Beni sniffed. "Well, it's a lot more pleasant than what humans emit."

"That's what I like about you, Beni!" the Doctor said. "Never afraid to explore something new. It's not unpleasant to you because you've evolved to recognize your, um, issue, not theirs. Unlike Tursurans, the Thind don't use it exclusively for communication. More as a way to express emotion." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "The Thind use voice, their trunks, and their smell to communicate a full range of things. You may have noticed the Thind is a herd race, hmm?"

Beni's professional ire rose to the surface. "Doctor, I'm an interstellar archeologist. I'm perfectly capable of recognizing..."

"Yes, sorry," said the doctor. "Part of that smell lets them identify their own herd. It's light enough that it doesn't obstruct their ability to detect predators. Or carrion."

"Carrion?"

"The Thinds will eat meat, if presented to them. They're omnivores, descended from a casual scavenger ancestor. Most of them prefer a plant-based diet, and because most herds grazed in different locations, they all have slightly different internal flora. A sort of tribal identification system." He glanced up the hill at the vast castle of white stone that seemed to point up and away from the marketplace. "The leadership of the Thinds has started to evolve in their own way, based on post-merchantile economies. They've started to master capitalism." The Doctor frowned momentarily. "Poor dears."

"Why 'poor dears'?"

The doctor shrugged. "The greatest get the cream of the society. The very best. Which means they eat a lot of meat. The top of the Thind hierarchy ceases to smell much like the tribe from which they came. Instead, they start to smell like each other. It's a terrible affliction, being at the top of the hierarchy, slowly pulling away from the people you claim to represent." He shrugged. "It's especially terrible for the Thind leadership, because of the belly burps."

"I don't understand."

"Bernie, this lightly floral scent you're sniffing is due to diet, a mostly vegetarian diet that makes each herd distinct. The leadership eats a high-meat, high-fat, high-protein diet. The smell is terrible, but what's worse is that it erases all herd distinction."

"You mean?"

"Yes, Beni. All great Thinds stink alike."


End file.
